Friday, September 28, 2012

AVM's: Brain and Lung

The results are in. I have three AVM's (arteriovenous malformation) in my brain and one in my lung. We were aware that I had malformations in my brain and were looking for a diagnosis. However, we did not expect there to be anything wrong with my lung. It was more of a preventative screening because my dad has had them in the past, and we share the bleeding disorder. Also preventative in that pulmonary AVM's must be removed before pregnancy. I talked to my dad. He has had his embolized before, and it sounds relatively simple. They will go in through the groin with a catheter and "tie it off", suffocating it. The brain AVM's though are not that simple. Due to the area of the brain they are in, they are inoperable. There is treatment now for them called cyber knife radiation. I have an appt. with the neurosurgeon in two weeks to discuss whether we should treat them or just monitor them.

Definition: In both cases these are malformations of arteries and veins. The worst that can happen is they could hemorrhage. Which could be life-altering. So it's a problem. But more of a problem is that with pregnancy there is an increase in blood flow and blood supply. Thus, more of a risk for hemorrhaging. And actually, the lung AVM is more of a risk during pregnancy than brain AVM's. Plus, the treatment for the lung is less complicated. So let's get rid of that thing!

They told me right after the angiogram that they were AVM's. Not a surprise there. I just want to know a plan. But when they called to tell me that there was also one in my lung you could have blown me over with a feather. I'm telling you. No one was expecting this. When we left Baltimore last Wednesday I was already thinking that we were almost done. We just needed to come up with a plan for my brain. And we should be back at the fertility dr. talking babies in just a few weeks. Scratch that. Let's go to the lung dr.! That was not on my list of things to even have to think about. Goodness! I am still trying to get an appt. with the lung dr. so we can set up the procedure. But ultimately we should be done and have a plan in a month.

About halfway through this post I took a break because I was starting to get overwhelmed again. I went upstairs to take a bath. It was there I had a revelation. Going back to the beginning of all of this two months ago I immediately questioned why all of this was happening here, the place I just moved, far away from my family and closest friends. I realized, in the bathtub, that the reason we moved here was to go to this new fertility dr. The reason I have brain AVM's and the reason I have not gotten pregnant is because I have this lung AVM. I believe if I had not had those brain AVM's I would not have been tested for the lungs. Anything you read, any dr. you talk to, they all agree that having a lung AVM while pregnant is dangerous. If the drs. would have known what we would have known now I can guarantee none of them would have advised me to get pregnant.

So let me just tell you the plan. Keep doing what I'm doing. Letting God take care of me. Even though I haven't been able to see it the whole time, that's what he's been doing all along. Two years ago when we couldn't get pregnant it was hard to understand why. A year and a half ago when we went to the fertility dr. it was hard not to get discouraged. A year ago when we started fertility treatment and went three rounds with no results it was hard not to question why. Two months ago when the new fertility dr. wanted further evaluation on pre-existing brain malformations before he would treat me it was hard to see the bigger picture. A week ago when I found out I had AVM's in my lung and my brain it was hard not to get overwhelmed. Today, as I write this it is hard not to be amazed at the power of God. He has known the master plan all along. He has known all along that he would give me a baby. He just wanted me to be healthy before he did so I could stick around to be a mom.



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