This describes my life perfectly...ever changing. I grew up in Louisville and met and married my husband. We moved to Indianapolis in 2008 after he was accepted to law school. Now, two months after he was sworn in we are moving to Washington, DC, where he will be working for a firm. Life Ever Changing. Where will life take us next?
Friday, September 28, 2012
AVM's: Brain and Lung
Definition: In both cases these are malformations of arteries and veins. The worst that can happen is they could hemorrhage. Which could be life-altering. So it's a problem. But more of a problem is that with pregnancy there is an increase in blood flow and blood supply. Thus, more of a risk for hemorrhaging. And actually, the lung AVM is more of a risk during pregnancy than brain AVM's. Plus, the treatment for the lung is less complicated. So let's get rid of that thing!
They told me right after the angiogram that they were AVM's. Not a surprise there. I just want to know a plan. But when they called to tell me that there was also one in my lung you could have blown me over with a feather. I'm telling you. No one was expecting this. When we left Baltimore last Wednesday I was already thinking that we were almost done. We just needed to come up with a plan for my brain. And we should be back at the fertility dr. talking babies in just a few weeks. Scratch that. Let's go to the lung dr.! That was not on my list of things to even have to think about. Goodness! I am still trying to get an appt. with the lung dr. so we can set up the procedure. But ultimately we should be done and have a plan in a month.
About halfway through this post I took a break because I was starting to get overwhelmed again. I went upstairs to take a bath. It was there I had a revelation. Going back to the beginning of all of this two months ago I immediately questioned why all of this was happening here, the place I just moved, far away from my family and closest friends. I realized, in the bathtub, that the reason we moved here was to go to this new fertility dr. The reason I have brain AVM's and the reason I have not gotten pregnant is because I have this lung AVM. I believe if I had not had those brain AVM's I would not have been tested for the lungs. Anything you read, any dr. you talk to, they all agree that having a lung AVM while pregnant is dangerous. If the drs. would have known what we would have known now I can guarantee none of them would have advised me to get pregnant.
So let me just tell you the plan. Keep doing what I'm doing. Letting God take care of me. Even though I haven't been able to see it the whole time, that's what he's been doing all along. Two years ago when we couldn't get pregnant it was hard to understand why. A year and a half ago when we went to the fertility dr. it was hard not to get discouraged. A year ago when we started fertility treatment and went three rounds with no results it was hard not to question why. Two months ago when the new fertility dr. wanted further evaluation on pre-existing brain malformations before he would treat me it was hard to see the bigger picture. A week ago when I found out I had AVM's in my lung and my brain it was hard not to get overwhelmed. Today, as I write this it is hard not to be amazed at the power of God. He has known the master plan all along. He has known all along that he would give me a baby. He just wanted me to be healthy before he did so I could stick around to be a mom.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Another Day in Baltimore
<p>I write this as we sit in traffic trying to get to Baltimore. We live in Virginia about five miles away from Maryland. It took us a half hour just to get to the bridge. The hospital called to ask if we could come early. Um, no. We will be late unless you have a helicopter that can pick us up. Early? Really? I don't think we've been early for anything since we moved to this part of the country. <br>
I am having my brain angiogram today at 11. It's a test where they go in through my groin through a major artery all the way to my brain. Pretty cool. The only thing that has me on edge is that I'm allergic to the contrast. I am being pre-medicated with steroids and Benadryl. It's so lovely. I've had to do it before.you're so tired from the Benadryl, but you can't sleep because you're hyped up on steroids. And the steroids make your stomach hurt because the Dr told you not to eat but the medication bottle says take with food!!!
We do get to stay in Baltimore tonight. We got a hotel right by the harbor. Hopefully the sedation will wear off so I can enjoy it.
Then tomorrow morning is the CT scan of my chest. And of course it is with contrast too so more steroids.
The results of these tests will determine if the lesions in my brain are avms and at risk of hemorrhaging with pregnancy and if they want to treat them. The chest scan will look for lung avms. They want to test me because my dad has them.
The great part is after this we are done and we will just be waiting for results. Then we will have a plan for pregnancy.
Everyone has been so sweet. Thank you for all the prayers.
"at other times, what's on His mind is another plan, a better way, a greater yes." This has gone through my head no less than 50 times since I went to bed last night. It's what I woke up thinking multiple times in the night.